Welcome to Tonic Calm, the internet’s most reliable source of completely unreliable news! Fake news, cute cat memes, comedy and entertaining stuff. Why – Because Real News is Overrated!
We’re here to deliver the satire, absurdity, and outright nonsense you never knew you needed.
At Tonic Calm, we take the news and give it the shake-up it truly deserves—stirring in a splash of sarcasm, a twist of ridiculousness, and a generous pour of pure comedic gold. Our goal? To keep you entertained, slightly confused, and questioning reality (but in a fun way).
Who Are We?
We’re a team of highly unqualified journalists with an unshakable commitment to bending the truth in the most hilarious ways possible. We specialize in:
✔ Fake headlines, real laughs
✔ Breaking news that never actually happened
✔ Investigative journalism (mostly Google searches and wild speculation)
✔ Unbiased reporting (as long as you like our bias toward absurdity)
Did we mention we do cute cat memes and not so funny memes? Well we do, although very badly.
Here Is What Our Enemies And Friends Say About Tonic Calm.com –
The Onion –”Probably The Least Funny, Comedy, Fake News Websites Out There! The Cute Cat Memes Aren’t Even Cute!”
“Tonic Calm.com, Is More Like Toxic Chaos.com!”
Vanity Fair – “Tonic Calm is what happens when investigative journalism and a stand-up comedian have an illegitimate love child.”
“If It Sounds Fake, It Probably Is!”
TheFibber.com – “Because Truth is Overrated!”
The New York Times – “Tonic Calm is so convincing, I started fact-checking real news just to be sure.” – “In a world of misinformation, Tonic Calm provides the most hilarious kind of disinformation—one that makes you laugh instead of panic.”
Donald Trump – “You Can’t Make This Stuff Up!”
“About As Funny As A Fart In An Elevator!”
The Guardian – “In a world of misinformation, Tonic Calm provides the most hilarious kind of disinformation—one that makes you laugh instead of panic.”
The Washington Post – “Reading Tonic Calm is like watching a political debate after five cocktails—outrageous, absurd, and weirdly insightful.”
“Relax, It’s All Made Up!”
Oprah – “Where Lies Feel Like Truth!”
Mark Zuckerberg – “Close Enough to Reality!”
AlmostTheTruth.com – “We Get Close… Sometimes!”
“Your World, Slightly Twisted!”
The Hard Times – “My Dead Parrot provides More Entertainment Than This!”
“Fooling the World, One Headline at a Time!”
“NewsThump – “Crafting Fiction, 24/7!
“Informing the Clueless Since Forever!”
ClickHole – “Just Not Funny At All!”
Taylor Swift – “Kinda True, Kinda Not!”
Rolling Stone – “The only difference between Tonic Calm and a real news outlet is that Tonic Calm knows it’s lying.”
A.I. Expert – “As Real As It Gets!’
Newsweek – “A satire site so sharp, even my uncle who shares conspiracy theories on Facebook might believe it.”
Esquire – “Tonic Calm has mastered the fine art of making you laugh while reminding you how ridiculous reality already is.”
“You Click, We Trick!”
“Nothing But Lies, and Proud of It!”
Cosmopolitan – “If fake news is a problem, then Tonic Calm is the solution—because it’s the only news source that admits it’s making stuff up.”
“Where the Lies Just Keep Coming!”
The Shovel – “They believe if you can’t fake it, it isn’t really news.”
“Delivering Nonsense at High Speed!”
Tom Cruise – “Because Real News is Overrated!”
“The Perfect Blend of Truth and Lies!”
TheBSChronicles.com – “Reporting the Unbelievable And Not That Funny”
The Babylon Bee – “Stay Misinformed, Effortlessly!”
“Stretching the Truth Like Never Before!”
“Unreliable News for an Unreliable World!”
“All the News You Wish Were True!”
Reductress – “Boring, Just Like Males Who Aren’t Drunk!”
“Facts are Boring, We Make It Fun!”
WhopperWire.com – “Bigger Lies, Better Stories!”
“We Fake, You Believe!”
“Printing Lies Since Before You Were Born!”
FalseAndFurious.com – “Spreading Lies at Breakneck Speed!”
Wired “This website is proof that comedy and chaos are best friends who text each other at 3 AM with bad ideas.”
The Atlantic – “A bold, fearless, and deeply unserious approach to fake news—so good it deserves its own congressional hearing.”
“Endless Deception, One Click Away!”
Waterford Whispers News – “Not My Cup Of Tea!”
“Making Up News, One Story at a Time!”
The Betoota Advocate – “I Have Had More Laughter In A Serious Papercut!”
SlightlyOffNews.com – “Never Quite Right, and That’s Okay!”
Our Mission
In a world where real news can be stranger than fiction, we strive to be even stranger. Our mission is to provide a much-needed break from reality, offering you a moment of laughter in an otherwise serious world.
So whether you’re here for our exclusive exposé on why pigeons are actually government drones or to read about how a man accidentally married his own AI assistant, we promise you’ll leave with a smile (or at least a very confused expression).
Join the Madness
Want to be part of the ridiculous revolution? Follow us, share our stories, and spread the nonsense! And if you ever find yourself questioning whether our news is real… congratulations, you get the joke.
Tonic Calm – Because sometimes, the best way to stay sane is to embrace the insanity.
We are dedicated to purfection and never let the truth get in the way of a good story.
