If you’re thinking of buying a horse on a budget, you’re not alone.
Many aspiring equestrians have scrolled through online marketplaces looking for a bargain steed. Enter the Shetland pony—often described as the “Temu horse” of the equine world.
It’s small, it’s affordable, and it’ll probably arrive at your doorstep with a questionable return policy.
Let’s be honest. Owning a Shetland pony is like buying a designer handbag off a discount website.
Sure, it looks cute and functional, but once you get it, you realize it’s about half the size you expected and has a tendency to bite. “A horse is a horse, of course, of course,” but a Shetland pony? That’s a horse with Wi-Fi connectivity issues.
Why are they so cheap? For starters, they’re tiny.
You can’t ride them unless you’re under 4 feet tall or have mastered the art of balance.
They eat like a horse but work like an intern who’s still on their probation period. And don’t be fooled by their adorable faces—these little beasts have a Napoleon complex that makes small dogs look like saints.
Famous horse enthusiast Winston Churchill once said, “No hour of life is wasted that is spent in the saddle.” Clearly, he never tried riding a Shetland pony. Time spent in their saddle is usually time spent wondering if you’ll end up in the hospital.
The Temu shopping experience teaches us a valuable lesson: you get what you pay for.
And while a Shetland pony might be the equestrian equivalent of a budget smartwatch, it has its perks. It’s cute, it eats less than a full-sized horse, and it’s perfect for taking over your backyard with an iron hoof.
So, is a Shetland pony the right choice for you? If you enjoy surprises, have a good sense of humor, and aren’t too attached to your personal space, then go ahead and click “Add to Cart.” Just remember—no refunds.
Disclaimer: This article is for entertainment only! It should have some pure comedy, satire and possibly fake news. Although it probably isn’t funny. — so don’t take it seriously (unless it’s funny). 🍋😂 TonicCalm.com—because laughter is the best remedy.
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